A parents guide to tryouts and what to do if your child doesn't make the team.

If your child has not already went through the tryout process for this years team I am sure it is quickly approaching. With this impending loom of “will I” or “won’t I” make this team there are some important guidelines to follow as the parent of an aspiring athlete.

When your child decides he or she wants to tryout for a team the biggest thing to remember is that ENCOURAGEMENT is key! You want your athlete to know that you support them in whatever they choose to do. Support them by being their biggest fan, not a second coach. The last thing your athlete wants or needs is someone to tell them that they are doing things wrong. Don’t be a PUSHER- a pusher parent makes their child feel like that have to tryout for a particular sport because the parent loves it or played it at some point in their life. Just because you loved participating in a sport does not mean that your child will as well.

So now your child going into tryouts confident and eager to please the coach. They put in 100% of their energy and effort, give it all that they have got and they don’t make the team. What now? What do you do as a parent in this situation? The way that you react is crucial so be sure to remember the following.

1. Let your child EXPERIENCE THEIR FEELINGS- While I know you want to take the pain and hurt away from your child at that exact moment that they tell you, let them have their feelings. In order to grow from this experience they must work through how they are feeling to move past it.
2. LISTEN DON’T SPEAK when your child wants to talk about what happened- Let your child explain how they are feelings and how tryouts went from their perspective. You do not want to put words in their mouth by letting your feelings about tryouts overshadow theirs.
3. BE EMPATHETIC- Telling your child that you are sorry that they are feeling sad and disappointed and that you are there for them if they want to talk is the best thing to do. This is not the time to give advice on what they should have or could have done.
4. TURN A NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE- While your child may not have received the news that they wanted to hear, it is your job to help them understand that not making a team does not make him or her a failure. Everyone fails, it is a large part of the learning process. Use this negative experience to form a positive one. When your child is ready find out what skills they need to work on to improve their chances of making the team next year, or maybe this allows an opportunity to explore a different sport that they may have never tried.

Kristen Perri is Cheer360’s Co-Founder and Director of Mental Fitness.  She holds a masters degree in Sport Psychology, is a certified Mental Game Coach, Sport Hypnotist and Personal Trainer.  With over 8 years of cheer coaching experience, Kristen has coached all skill levels including middle school and junior varsity. Currently, Kristen is the Head Varsity Coach of a major Long Island Cheerleading Program.